What's in a name
by PerpetuallyPadfoot's
Summary: A drunken Lilly comforts a forlorn James and is surprised to discover a side to him she wasn't aware of before. My take on some of the moments that helped cement Lilly and James' tentative friendship and the moments that led to their famous romance!


Lilly was drunk. She could feel the firewhisky coursing through her, blurring her vision and loosening her tongue. The distinctive fiery aftertaste warmed her throat and numbed away the anguish that the afternoon's occurrences had caused. It was a Saturday night in Early December and nine of the Gryffindor sixth years sat on the floor by the fire in the deserted common room. The fire's embers basked the room in a pleasant rosy glow and the chorus of snores coming from Peter- who had passed out earlier on one of the squashy armchairs, were the only background noise. The nine were contending with the tension and strain that had began to seep into their lives as well as the copious amount of homework being administered to them, by getting smashed, exceptionally so. Sirius and Peter had announced their plans of intoxication after dinner and had disappeared for over an hour, arriving back with two bottles of Firewhiskey, numerous bottles of butterbeer and a flagon of mead. They had brushed off the several inquires as to how they had secured the beverages and had merely grinned at everyone, saying that they had their ways.

'Pass it here Lils.' Slurred Marlene reaching for the bottle of pilfered Firewhiskey which was already half empty. She was propped up against Graham Campell, a fellow Gryffindor who was quite shy but nonetheless looked quite pleased with the seating arrangements.

Obliging, Lilly attempted leaned over and pass her the bottle, but veering too far to the left she toppled over and landed in the lap of an unsuspecting Sirius Black. Giggling she struggled to sit up, but fell back against him.

'Sorry Black' she slurred as she grinned up at him.

'As much as I enjoy attractive females falling at my feet, I don't think Prongs would appreciate the gesture coming from you.' Said Sirius in a causal but firm way as he helped to right Lilly to a sitting position.

'Where is Potter anyway? ' Said Lilly disdainfully, glancing around. As much as she hated herself for it, she was acutely aware of his absence. She assured herself it was most likely because there was a subdued nature to their group that would not have developed if James had been there.

'His family knew the Gables really well, I think his Mum was at school with Mattie's Mum, so he's pretty shaken up about it.' Supplied a glum Remus, who looked harried and drawn. He Glanced towards the staircase leading to their dorm and sighed heavily.'He's been up in the Dorm all evening.' Remus had surrendered to downing three shots of Firewhiskey from the first bottle but had refused any more, and was sipping his glass of mead slowly, in a morose sort of fashion. While he would always join in, he never got so inebriated that a loss of control would result. Lilly sometimes mused whether it was his responsible nature, or the fact that he didn't want anything to slip because of an unchained tongue that encouraged this restraint.

'Oh' Lilly said in a small voice, suddenly slightly sobered. She was struck by a sudden image of a grieving James and although she would have scarcely believed it last year, the idea of a sombre James was easy to imagine. At first, Lilly had taken his abrupt and unexpected change in attitude this year as yet another ploy to win her affections. But when James maintained his newfound sense of responsibly past October Lilly was forced to resign to the fact: James Potter had changed. He seemed to have deflated his head somewhat and there was a reduction, although only a slight one, in the pranks and general mischief that the Marauders were known for. The solitary incident that had surprised Lilly the most was when he had approached her in the corridor on the Hogwarts Express on the first of September, and offered a heartfelt and genuine apology for his behaviour towards Severus at the end of their O.W.L year. While Lilly would usually have scoffed, disregarded his apology and derisively have told him to 'get lost ' she had been shocked and mumbled that it was alright before an awkward silence had descended on the two and they had quickly departed to their respective compartments. James still flirted annoyingly with her, but in a teasing way with a new sense of repartee. And apart from three rather lacklustre attempts to which she had replied no out of habit more than anything, James had hardly asked her out all. Lilly, professing to the Gryffindor girls her relief at this, had admitted to no one that she was rather puzzled as to why. The two had advanced into a tentative friendship and while they argued as much as ever it was with an affability that had never been there before.

'I'll go check if he's alright' Lilly garbled, standing unsteadily to her feet. The recklessness that the firewhisky had instilled prompting her into action. However she didn't miss the drunken smiles and nudges that Mary and Marlene gave each other, nor the wink a smirking Sirius bestowed upon Remus.

'Not like that you daft gits,' said Lily blushing. 'As a prefect you know... duties to er..support fellow students in er... times of upset.' She stuck her tongue out at the members of their small gathering and stumbled up the winding stairs to the boys dormitory.

'James?' said Lilly tentatively peering around the heavy oak door of the dormitory, 'Are you alright?'

James was sitting on one of the worn stone window seats that overlooked the Grounds, with his knees drawn up to his chin. Snow was falling steadily outside, muffling the sounds of the forest that could normally be heard at night. His hair was its usual unruly mess, but the absence of his almost permanent grin was striking and his face was stained with red blotches. He had been crying.

'I'm alri-Evans! What're doing up here?' Questioned James, hastily wiping his eyes as he swung off the seat and turned to look at her.

Lilly began walking over to him, but slipped on a pile of robes at the foot of one of the boys' beds hitting her forehead on one of the posters as she fell.

'Evans!' cried James rushing over to Lilly who was leaning up against the foot of the bed and holding her head. She smiled sheepishly at him, and he slumped down beside her.

'Merlin Evans, are you drunk? You smell like the Ogden 's distillery!' said James his tone a mixture of surprise and amusement. 'Evans the perfect prefect, what would dear McGonagall have to say at this display?'

'Shut up Potter, I came to check if you were alright.' Lilly turned to him a look of genuine concern on in her green eyes. James was struck once again by how truly beautiful she was, while the steady flow of Firewhisky that she'd consumed over the last hour had heighted her colour, James thought she looked all the more lovely. He couldn't believe his was sitting this close to her, and she wasn't shouting at him or berating his existence. Granted they'd gotten on much better lately but there'd still been awkwardness in the air whenever it happened to be just the two of them, energy between that James knew they both felt. She was so close that he could smell her shampoo and a trace of her perfume, and he inhaled deeply.

'Really?' He replied looking at her in disbelief.

'Yes, you've been up here all night. Remus said that you...you knew Mattie's Mum.'

' Yeah' he mumbled ' My Mum and Lucy, that's her mum were really close. She was like my auntie. I can't believe what happened, that they.. they would do that.. when she was- 'he struggled weakly.

' I know ,' said Lilly grabbing his hand, 'It's tragic. Poor Mattie, losing her Mum and a new brother or sister all at once, it just so sad.' Tears gathered in her own eyes and spilled over her rosied cheeks.

'All because she was muggle born' said James fiercely. 'It makes me sick, she was an...an incredibly gifted witch , it didn't make a difference that her family were muggles. We need to stop it, people need to start fighting back, to stop him, them, to stop all of it.'

Lilly stared at him, she had never heard James speak so passionately and with such conviction about anything other than Quidditch or pranking. His right hand was shaking beneath hers as he gestured wildly with his left. She gripped it more firmly.

'I know' she said soothingly, and before she could stop her drunken self had gently brushed a lock of his ink black hair across his forehead, out of his eyes. James, for once oblivious to Lilly's actions, continued with his outburst

'No one is safe, and you Evans, you! You're one of the best in our year, and you've been targeted twice this month already. And what will we do when we leave next year, and we're away from Dumbledore and the teachers, and they can attack you anywhere! I just want to curse that lot into oblivion, wipe the smirks of their Slytherin faces. I hate this.'

'James,' began Lilly softly 'it'll be fine. I'm fine, and I'm well ab-

James turned to her, a look of incredibility and delight marked across his features and interrupted. 'Hey! You just called me James'

'No I didn't Potter.' Said Lilly quickly.

'Yes you did _Lily_ you called me James. I heard you.' He said smirking at her.

'Fine, _James,_ the surname thing is old anyway. We're kind of friends this year... I guess. You're only half an arrogant toerag these days.' she said and could not help the flirtatious little smile that spread across her face.

'Friends,' Murmured James gazing steadily at her, 'I can take that, it's a step.'

'A step to nowhere Potter.' She sang back at him.

' Ah now, _Lilly _m'dear we are now on first name terms after all.'

Despite herself Lilly smiled. James got to his feet and extended a hand to her ' C'mon, Lets go down to the others, I've been by myself long enough.'

He hoisted her quickly to her feet but hadn't expected her lack of coordination, and the pair of them stumbled backwards, falling on Sirius's unmade bed. Lilly landed sprawling on James's chest.

The old (and perhaps more sober) Lilly would have jumped up from him as rapidly as possible and stormed out. But she lay on his chest, enjoying the warmth radiating from him and his rather toned torso for a moment, giggling. She glanced at him and found his hazel eyes staring at her with a protective longing in their depths. Blushing, she stood back up quickly and pushed her russet waves out of her face.

'Trying to seduce me again Pot- James?' she said daringly, trying to cover her blush.

' I wouldn't dream of it Lilly' he replied earnestly.

Laughing she grabbed his hand, helped him up and started towards the door, glancing over her shoulder as she exited. Grinning James followed her eagerly, amazed at what the devastatingly grievous evening had morphed into. He now had permission to call her Lily.


End file.
